Was it the laundromat or the library? one of the two, i'm sure. I laughed at your shoes and then we left together, wandering, no destination in mind. Your mom bought you a star when you were a kid and you began counting, only getting to thirty-seven. A little persistence, I suggested, so you counted the illuminated windows instead. We dropped into a little place to get a bite. Toast and tea. Fries and coke. We split the check evenly. 70-30, that is, and left. waking to the front door, I messed up your hair. It's better that way. We talked about nothing in the darkness and I slipped off my shoes. We slept all morning long and stayed in bed all afternoon. I told you not to shave and you laughed. Beards are better. You found a box of cereal and we ate the last of it, tv on in the background as we canceled our old plans for the day and made new ones.

There's paying what you think it costs, and then there is what it really costs - most of us are afraid to find out what it really costs.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. -Mark Twain

We all do it for our own reasons, some of us to try to escape depression or try to prove something to ourselves. Weird stuff like that. This is not a normal sport like soccer or something. We are our own coach's and cheerleaders.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments of your life and still remember me...
-Blazeman

"Are these just the nights that we stayed for?
Are these all the lines that could keep us here?"

I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes
to the biggest battle of our professional lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch
play by play
till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen
believe me,
we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you.
I'm too old.
I look around and I see these young faces.

You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late or to early
you don't quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast
and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that's going to make the fucking difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy
who will sacrifice himself for this team
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as, individuals.
-From any given sunday.

One thing I've learned is that outward appearances, especially among athletes, can be very deceiving. The seemingly most confident grounded people are often not. And those who seem totally disorganized are often extremely meticulous.

Look, over the past few months, no one has worked as hard, or trained as smart as you have, no one. You've beat teams and boats no one thought you could, race after race. Not one boat has made it in front of you this season. There is absolutely nothing to worry about; you've done this a hundred times in practice alone this season. This is the fun part. All of the hard work, time on the ergs, in crappy weather, this is what it all comes down to. Other coaches like to say good luck, but we've made our own this year. When you trust each other, in what you are doing, and in your goals, there is nothing out there that can stop you today, remember that.

The finish line is that goal, the light at the end of the tunnel. It is all consuming. The only thing that matters.

But don't forget the steps, the people, and the time that are needed to arrive at the start alive and in once piece.

You're long past the point of feeling warm. It's time to get out of the water and head home to a warm dinner and sleep like everyone else. The only other person left is the lifeguard, and even she is ready to go.

You turn around and look at the clock; it is time to go. You put your head down and push off for another set.

At 5:00am, when it's dark and cold and the rest of the world is still asleep, you start to question what the hell you are doing. There is no clear cut path to an end, no right and wrong steps to get there. Only a blind faith that if you do everything right, and get very lucky, it somehow, might turn out right in the end.

The thing is, and I don't think you know this yet, but you've already made it. You're living the dream, doing something you love. How far you go from here doesn't matter, as long as you are moving forward. You could fail now, or keep pushing on, but in the end you'll realize, in a day, a month, a year down the road, that you did all you could. You gave it a shot, and left nothing up to chance.

Regardless of where it ends, you'll know that was all you could do. And in the end that's all you can ask for, the chance to chase a dream, and to learn just a little bit more about yourself.

Today was a good day.

I've felt alone a great deal recently. Trying to drown this out I spent the better half of last week searching for the answer in all the wrong places, only to realize I was in fact looking in all of the wrong places.